Weather Report: Dry Day

Debating the Constitution

Censorship debate

Men bathing in street leading to Festival

It is getting crowded at the Festival! 

Special Lamb

We awoke and went for breakfast. There was a sign on the door “Dry Day”. I thought good, no rain, no monsoon. Leave the umbrella behind. I soon learned, to my dismay, that today is Republic Day (The day the Indian Constitution was signed). On this day it is illegal to serve Alcohol in India. That is what a “Dry Day” means in India. We immediately freaked. How would we get through the dinner without wine? We finally remembered that foreigners bearing passports are allowed drink in hotels. We were relieved!

We met a woman friend, we knew from a previous visit to The Jaipur Literary Festival. Catherine is a fearless woman, who travels to very dangerous areas (Egypt during the revolution, Kashmir, etc.) She is filmmaker and textile importer. In addition, I think she is an adrenalin junkie. She had just returned from Pakistan. She felt like she was the only white person in all of Pakistan. Although she had a driver and bodyguard, being there really traumatized her. She related to us the un-relenting hatred of the Pakistanis for America. It was very frightening to hear her speak, because you had the feeling that nothing is going to stop them. And they have nuclear weapons. Not a great way to start the day.

The first panel that we went to was excellent. It was about the utopian idea of India. The ideal of the state was to create equality. India was a very unequal society, separated by caste, religion, language, education, etc. The Indian Constitution tries to rectify this inequality and this is the primary challenge of India. The authors were passionate in their views on how the constitution has either helped or failed to help the people.

Overt corruption is the bane of India, and there was much discussion about it. One panelist suggested the only four areas where there is true meritocracy, without corruption are: 1) Sports, 2) Entertainment 3) Crime 4) Politics. In any of these 4 areas anyone could rise to the top.

The sessions all end with audience questions and the panelist are challenged by provocative questions.

The next session dealt with the economic potential of India, which depends upon a sorely lacking infrastructure. India has a very centralized government, but very independent states. It is very difficult to govern. One interesting thought was that countries have hard infrastructure and soft infrastructure. Hard Infrastructure includes, roads, dams, electrical plants, etc. Soft Infrastructure includes vigorous press, independent political parties, etc. Hard infrastructure problems are easier to fix then soft ones. Advantage: India over China. Is this wishful thinking or the truth? We will find out.

There was a lot of discussion of the problem of dynastic succession; especially the  non-rise of Rahul Ghandi. Will he step in as a national leader or is he a lightweight? Stay tuned.

We went to a rather boring lecture on literary criticism. The one take away for me was that literary critics are the only critics that use the same medium (writing) as the one that they are criticizing. Painting critics don’t paint their criticism for example. The outcome of this phenomenon is that many critics feel they are as good a writer (or better) than the author they are writing about, jealousy is a major problem.

A much better session was on freedom of expression. India has many laws (as do other countries) trying to limit speech on the internet. India’s constitution mandates only limited freedom of speech. You cannot say something in India that will offend another group. The problem of course is what is offensive speech. This leads to a lot of interference by the government with movies, books, and even events like this one, where Salmon Rushdie was prevented from speaking  last year. So much of the issues especially in India, deal with cultural sensibilities and the way that people so easily take offense at what is said and written. There was much discussion back and forth about the role of censorship, self-censorship and freedom of expression. It was a very stimulating hour.

One idea I hadn’t really thought about is how intricately freedom of speech is correlated to freedom of assembly. If you can assemble to protest, freedom of speech is meaningless.

We finished the day by returning to Baba, to pick up some jewelry, almost all of which were ready, and check on Cliff’s suit, that wasn’t ready. I did make sure that Baba took care of our driver. Baba gifted us with some items which made me realize Indian Jeweler 1, Jew 0 in the negotiating game. Bargaining is the true national sport, not cricket.

Returning to our Haveli, we spent an hour drinking and talking with Gary Shteyngart.  We also talked about Anti-semitism, Israel and England with the writer Linda Grant. She has written many books about Jews and Israel. She practically fell out of her chair laughing when Cathy and I said and tried to defend the idea that the US isn’t an imperial power.

We had a delicious dinner at the hotel, and wine was served – we toasted the Indian constitution and all of its flaws with Indian wine. After dinner I joined a group of writers for talks and drinks. Laurence Norfolk discussed his new historical novel, “John Saturnall’s Feast”. It is set in the 17^th century about a chef. I think iRobby and Tamara would love it!

Oye! Reel to Real

Sharmile Tagore

Potatoes with Mustard Seed done in the Tandoori

This was the 2^nd day of the Jaipur Literary Festival. Each hour there is 5 different venues each with a different panel. You have to read up on the program to figure out which panel you want to sit through, because you can only see one of the four. In addition, you are faced with some panels are more popular then other, which means, getting a seat can be frustrating. We did our homework and decided on several panels that we wanted to see.

The first one we attended was entitled “The Writer and the State”. It had a wide range of authors that have written in or about totalitarian states or states going through transitions. The countries covered ranged from Chile, to China and even India. The discussions were heated particularly about the Latest Nobel Winner who is Chinese. He has defended to some degree the Communist censorship. Some panelist condemned him in the strongest terms, other expressed sympathy for his delicate situation. It was very thought provoking. One idea they presented was that time is the ultimate critic of the quality of a work. Some things are written under the worst political conditions of repression and government control and it is very easy for us to criticize the compromises the author made, however, with the passage of time we can better appreciate the work, almost independently of the author. The entire session was like an intellectual tennis match, it was quite fun to see the authors dropping quotes and names of obscure authors and being responded to in kind.

There was a very funny presentation with among others Gary Shteyngart. There was an absolutely hilarious, quick witted Indian writer: Manu Joseph that stole the show for me. We have read his books and he just released a new one. Gary S. especially believes we are country of writers not readers.

Javed Akhtar, is an Indian legend and probably the most beloved person at the festival. He was born an Urdu speaker. He is a Bollywood screenwriter, a lyricist, a poet, a reciter of poetry and political activist. He is natural actor and raconteur. When he speaks he switches between English, Urdu and Hindi. He is incredibly animated and he holds the audience in the palm of his hand, even if they don’t understand the words he is speaking. He is a passionate atheist, who detests all religions and dogmas. We heard him last year when he spoke and it was just as enjoyable to hear him this year. He discussed for over an hour: Ghazals the poetry form that came from Persian, and has morphed into the most beautiful way of expression. It is quite formalized in its construct. I never thought I would enjoy hearing the ins and outs of writing poetry, from Javed-Ji it was a fabulous experience. Urdu which was the language of spoken mostly in Delhi and Lucknow, is now the language of Pakistan. It has morphed from a secular language to a very political / religious language. Javed-Ji, mourns this greatly. He summed it up by saying the Pakistanis thought Kashmir and Urdu belonged to them, and they were wrong in both cases! The Indians in the crowd loved it. There were hundreds of school kids in attendance. At the end the entire audience begged him to recite one more Urdu Ghazal. Can you picture children in America pleading for another poem?

There was a great session with the Bengali Actress Sharmile Tagore who has acted for over 55 years in starting in films directed by Sangit Roy. She has seen it all – from Art Films to Bollywood. She had a loving adoring crowd. Like many of the speakers she tied the recent rape case in Delhi into her responses.

Javed’s wife, Shabana Azmi, is a very famous actress who is very politically involved. She had a session on Sex and Women in India Cinema. India Cinema as do many cinemas objective women, and she is an activist against gender discrimination in all forms. She, like Javed, is extremely passionate in her speech and life.

There was a spirited session about the novel post 9-11 we saw the end of the session. Reza Assam, from America, defended Islam against the idea that 98% of terrorists are Muslims. He disabused an audience member who asked a question based upon this idea. Meanwhile the other panelist brought up the idea of religion and martyrdom as a major issue. The discussion was excellent.

The final session we attended was hilarious. It was entitled: “The Jewish Novel”. It started with the story “At a conference it was announced that the subject would be: Jews like to argue – a man stood up and said: “excuse me, but I beg to differ”. Because India has a large Muslim population and there were Pakistanis attending the festival, I couldn’t have predicted how this session would go. It was like a Jewish Comic Smack down. Although there were others on the panel, we thought Gary Shteyngart and Howard Jacobson were great. I can’t do the jokes and funny responses to questions justice, but bottom line, they are both outrageously funny. I don’t think the Indian audience got a lot of their jokes and word twists, but we were laughing out loud. If you haven’t read: The Finkler Question or Super Sad Love Story, you are missing two great books! The authors gave outrageous answers to the interlocutor. I could have imagined Woody Allen on the panel.

The weather here on the Rajasthan desert is very cool at night and warms up during the day. We eat and drink at night outside, warmed by gas heaters and wood fires, during the day we slowly shed our jackets, scarves and sweaters. The food at the hotel is excellent. We keep trying different dishes and wonder why it Indian Food in Los Angeles can’t be like the hotel food. It is the Muslim festival of Eid, and Indian Republic day is coming up. They expect the Literary Festival to be even more packed today (Sat). We will see.

Hello Dalhi

Dalhi Lama

Manil Suri

Shashi Tharoor

Would the Dalhi Lama Approve?

Chicken Methe Daal and Rice

Today was a perfect start to the Jaipur Literary Festival. The Festival started with a keynote address by Mahasweta Devi, a famous Bangali writer. She is quite elderly (88 years old) and revered for her social activism.

As we went to breakfast Cathy spotted Gary Shteyngart who is staying at our Haveli. He is one of our absolute favorite authors. If you haven’t read “Super Sad Love Story” by him, you should! We talked to him, and he definitely is not the nerd he portrays himself as in his novels.

We then went to a panel with a Pakistani author, who basically defended the tribal values of honor. We both disagreed with him, but it was interesting to hear him discuss the plight of tribes in the modern world.

The next panel was great. We have read both of Manil Suri’s previous books, and really like him. He is a gay writer, who is also a college mathematics professor in the USA. He has a new book out, City of the Devi (set in Mumbai), that he read from and talked about. The interlocutor was excellent and it was a the best session of the morning.

The highlight of the day, was for sure seeing and hearing, His Royal Highness the Dalhi Lama. We skipped lunch to make sure we would see him, for there were thousands in attendance. We were in probably the 10^th row. I didn’t know what to expect, but he was questioned by Pico Iyer (who sounds like Truman Capote with a British Accent), an author we have also read. The Dali Lama, is very funny, he laughs a lot, while making his points. His main message was that you should question everything, even the sayings and principals of The Buddha. If you decided that what you believe conflicts with the dogma you are taught, go with what you think is correct, if you are an atheist or a believer it makes no matter - it is all about personal ethics. At the end he summed up his belief by saying essentially, if faced with an unsurmountable problem, use your intelligence to overcome it, it you can’t overcome it, try again to figure out a solution, if you can’t figure out a solution, just accept the problem, don’t be angry, there is no solution. It was exceptional experience to hear him talk for over an hour.

We then went to a session with Shashi Tharoor. There is no-one America that is like him. He is an accomplished writer with many books. He is a power in the Indian Government as an elected Member of Parliament and Minister in the government. He is extremely good looking and could be a movie star, he is highly educated with a PHD and extremely eloquent. He is lady’s man beyond belief. He has got it all! He could talk for hours about Indian Government and history. He basically described the current political climate, especially as it relates to Pakistan. It was amazing to hear him discuss, so fluidly, and humorously so many critical problems. Bottom line for him, is that International issues, need to be secondary to raising the health and welfare of the average Indian. This is very complicated in a world where TV anchors clamor for war with Pakistan after the beheading last week of several Indian Soldiers by Pakistanis. It was an enlightening discussion.

We then went to a session with Javed Aktar. He is one of our favorites, a Bollywood Screen Writer, a Poet in Urdu and leading intellectual. The entire session was in Urdu and Hindi, and we skipped out early.

We then went to Baba our Jeweler in Jaipur. Oh how, Courtney would love him. Basically he is manufacturer and wholesaler of jewelry. Unlike most jewelry stores, he sells the gems, separately from the setting (gold or silver). So you sort through all kinds of gems, and also discuss settings. He is also a business man, and isn’t going to miss a sale. So, the sessions with Baba go on and on. He has an apparently endless amount of stuff to show, and if he thinks you have any capacity to buy, he doesn’t stop. It is all a good show. We wound up spending several hours with him, before we finally extracted ourselves. It was fun, and his jewelry is well priced. So, bottom line, if you go to Jaipur, Baba is your man.

We have a special relationship with our driver, Vijay, we have who is with us all week in Jaipur. We have used him before, we feel like he is family. Most drivers get a commission from a store when they bring you there. I asked Vee Jay if he was getting one from Baba. He said no, because we knew about Baba, he didn’t, we went to Baba based upon a recommendation of a friend in Silverlake. When I found out he wasn’t getting anything from Baba, I told him I would make sure he would and will talk to Baba about it tomorrow when we pick up Cathy’s emerald ring. I am sure I can help him.

Shopping in Jaipur

Baba the Jeweler and his happy brother

Fire Pit by Pool - cool evening

Ruby, Emerald and Diamonds help the local economy

Dinner: Naan, Rice Pulio, Chicken Murg, Indian Wine

Lock to our room

Dinner in the Courtyard

This was our first full day in Jaipur. The Literary Festival starts tomorrow. We knew our driver Vijay from previous trips. He feels like family to us. We are very happy he will be with us for all of our time in Rajasthan. I try to read the Hindi signs and he is constantly correcting me. It is the only way to learn.

Jaipur is chocked full of tourists right now. The Pink City has just played host to the President of India and now this event is about to start. The Literary Festival starts tomorrow, so we have a free day.

This is going to be our shopping day. I thought I needed to buy a new SIM card for my India phone, but amazingly, my old SIM card is still active and I have lots of money left on it. Unlike America, you but a phone and then buy a SIM card  with a certain amount of money worth of calls on it. There is no monthly bill. When you have nearly used up your cards value, you purchase more value and it is added to your SIM card.

It turns out it is VERY difficult now for a foreigner in India to buy a SIM Card. Passport, Visa and photos are required. We went through a maze of problems assuming my old SIM card wouldn’t work, until we discovered it was fine. The Gods of Telecom were with us.

The first stop we planned to make was to see Baba, the Jewelry maker. A friend of ours in Silver Lake, had a friend who had bought Jewelry from Baba and was very happy. The name / number of Baba was passed on to us. We also had Baba’s address. It was of no assistance to us. In a very Indian thing, our driver called Baba from our car. A man on Motorcycle appeared shortly, and guided us to Baba’s. This is not at all unusual, because roads aren’t well marked and all is confusing.

Baba sells gems. Rather then being in a jewelry store buying finished necklaces, rings, etc. you select gems from loose stones. Once you have a stone you like you work with Baba to decide how it is to be set. It is a fun process and we spent 4 hours looking, learning, negotiating and buying. I am glad we had plenty of time.

As we finally left Baba, a guy on a motorcycle offered to lead us to a textile shop. We weren’t up to it, and said no thanks. For what ever reason, we changed our minds and signal to him we will go to the shop. It turned out to be lucky for us, the store had all kinds of throws, rugs, bedspreads, etc. Each was more interesting then the previous. The owner asked me if I was interested in a vest, and I said sure, what do you have. He took me into another reason where they have bolts of fabrics. Long story short, I bought a custom suit. This suit will be totally tailored to me, from scratch. Total cost $ 350. Amazing.

We then drove to the Digge Palace to get our registration completed for the festival that starts tomorrow, but the place was in chaos as they prepared for the hoards. It all starts tomorrow. We returned to the Samode Haveli for drinks by the pool and a wonderful dinner of  Daal, Rice Pilaf, Tandoori Chicken, roti and dessert.

By the way the bright star by the Moon is Jupiter. I looked it up today!

Real Indian Food

Taj Hotel: Garlic Naan

Taj Hotel: Gobi (Cauliflower), Shrimp, Rice

Taj: Paan

 

Jaipur: (its cold!) Samode Haveli, Gobi, Daal, Rice

We checked into the Taj about 2:30am. We were just transiting in Mumbai, arriving from Sri Lanka and awaiting our flight to Jaipur, in Rajasthan. The suite they upgraded us to was exceptional. There was a complimentary bottle of wine, nuts, fruits, etc., we felt we should toast Obama’s 2^nd term (the inauguration in Washington was live on CNN-World.)

We finally went to bed around 3:30am. In the morning when we awoke, we decided we wouldn’t leave the Taj. It was so nice being in a 5-star hotel, like this, and we were tired from our very late night. Breakfast in the Club Room, shopping at their wonder boutique, Massage, and a wonderful Indian late lunch concluded our stay at the Taj Lands End (Bandra). We were picked up at 3:30 for our transportation to the airport. All of the excitement of Bombay was brought to life on the ride to the airport. The traffic was horrendous, the streets were teaming with people. Horns blaring, Bollywood soundtracks playing in the background, the fast chaos of the city – it is amazing. It was the Mumbai we love.

We had a driver and a guide who that made sure everything worked flawlessly, we didn’t have to think or worry. They knew how to get around traffic problems, by taking obscure roads, how to get us through the maze at the airport – they were fixers for travellers. At one time we were on a very narrow one way street and traffic was driving the wrong way on the street, creating total grid lock. Our man, jumped out of the car and started directing traffic to get us through. It was a very James Bond experience. We got to the airport and flew to Jaipur where we are for the next 7 nights. We were extremely happy when we were met by our driver: VeeJay. We know him from previous visits and really like him. This pink city in the desert is home to the Jaipur Literary Festival, which we attended last year and is the reason we are here again.

Many new hotels have opened in Jaipur, but we chose to return to a Samode Havali (a city palace) we have stayed at many times before. We have a wonderful room. We ate dinner, outdoors in the courtyard, on the cool desert night, warmed by fire pits on either side of our table. I requested a cauliflower dish that wasn’t on the menu, and the kitchen made a wonderful preparation of it.

We drank a bottle of Indian Wine (Sulla red) that was excellent, and I was surprised they had my favorite scotch: Talisker. My one last task is to identify the star that appears so clearly if the sky next to the Moon. Tomorrow we start to check out gems (which Jaipur is famous for).

Elephants!

She is no hooker she is selling Cashews

I am writing this at 30,000 feet having just left Colombo for Mumbai. We left our hotel this morning about 11am and headed for a jewelry manufacturer and show room. Sri Lanka is a major source of gems and there are gem stores everywhere. They mine for most gems except Emeralds (Brazil), Diamonds (Africa) and Rubies (Burma). This is the 2^nd store where they had a very good explanation of the mining, selection, grading and cutting of gems. One thing I hadn’t realized is that there are only two Precious Gems (Diamonds and Sapphires). The interesting thing to me was that what makes them precious is not their rarity (which I assumed) but their hardness. Diamonds are rated a 10, and Sapphires a 9. Who knew?

From there we went to an Elephant Orphanage. It is just what it name implies. Orphaned elephants are brought here. Some are very young babies. The place is immaculate. It is amazing to see these large herds of elephants roaming around. You can see them nursing, or even being fed milk from a bottle. The elephants are led down a street from the orphanage to the river where we watched them frolic, drink and bath for at least an hour. Some of these elephants will become Temple Elephants, others will live out there days here. It is very humane. The Mahoots who tend the elephants have their own language that they speak. No one but another mahoot knows the language. They can speak to the elephant and tell it to stop, turn right, turn left, back up, raise their foot etc.

The final stop on the 4 hour drive to the airport in Colombo was an absolute hoot. Sri Lanka grows a lot of cashews (they grow on a tree). In one village, famous for its cashews, women sell them by the wayside. The women are all dressed in fancy wear and wave their arms to flag to motorists to sell them cashews. If you didn’t know what was going on, you would think they were all hookers, trying to get tricks. They flirt and wave. It is very funny. No men are allowed to sell cashews in the village.

A few final thoughts about Sri Lanka as we leave. The Sri Lankans are incredibly nice. Everyone is helpful. The Infrastructure is far better than India, nice roads, internet everywhere. Less people I am sure also helps. The traffic is quite tame compared to the insanity of driving in India.

There are very few crafts in Sri Lanka. They experienced a long civil war that only ended a few years ago. It was explained to us the army pay was quite high and many young men from craft producing families joined the army and lost touch with their heritage..

Durian fruit is foul smelling. In America I have only seen it frozen in Asian Markets. In Sri Lanka it is sold fresh by the road side. Our guide said that if someone buys a Durian, they aren’t allowed on a bus because the smell is so awful, although the fruit apparently is tasty.

You feel very safe in Sri Lanka. It has a low crime rate. The speed limit in most areas of Sri Lanka is 70 Kilometers Per Hour. That equates to about 43 miles per hour! It is takes a long time to drive between cities!

Sri Lankans have bad teeth, I have no idea why (maybe eating fresh Durian?). All I know is that half of our guides had major missing teeth. If you are a thinking of becoming a dentist, there is a lot of work available for you in Sri Lanka.

I like to take pictures when I travel, and I always pack a spare camera, just incase something happens to my primary camera. This is the first time that I decided not to take a spare, but use the iPhone Camera as backup. I actually forgot to bring my camera to one event and the iPhone did fine. No more lugging two cameras for me.

One final thought, Sri Lankans like to drink. For a culture that is mixture of Buddhist, Hindu and Muslims I am glad they have found a common area of agreement!

For our final excitement of the day, arrived in Mumbai and they had no reservation for us. They finally figured out the reservation was under Cathy’s name. They upgraded us to a suite. All is very well!

The Great Chicken Tikka Standoff

Waruna sells great Textiles, Jewelry and Antiques

Weighing Silver Bracelets on a Balance Beam

Shopping for our Friend Ferris

We prefer Indian Gold, and Old Stones

Wood Carvings

The Great Chicken Tikka Standoff

We weren’t sure if we really had enough to do for our last two days in Sri Lanka. We contemplated moving our flight to Bombay up by a day, but after studying flight schedules we realized it was impractical.

After breakfast, we left our hotel at the top of the hill and proceed down the curvy road to the main shopping areas of Kandy. I had found on-line a recommendation of an antique store featuring jewelry and textiles, it was next to another store that also had antiques. We eventually found several pieces of jewelry and textiles. My negotiating skills re-emerged and we were happy with the purchases. The owner of the store, who is married to a Japanese women, was a very interesting artistic person. We enjoyed almost 2 hours in his shop, and were able to connect him to a friend of ours who might be able to create a mutually beneficial relationship.

After driving around Kandy, we went to a typical store that sells carved wood furniture. We escaped by purchasing a very modest child’s puzzle. We were then faced with a decision, “Lunch or Massage”? Bet you figured out the answers to that one already: Massage 1, Lunch 0. Our driver Michael, took us to his favorite massage place. They specialize in ayurvedic massage - this is a type of massage that is supposed to have health benefits. It originated in Southern India, and I have had many of these in the past. I don’t know how healthy they are, but they sure are oily. Cathy and I were separated, and each led into a small room. We were then basically oiled, and massaged for 40 minutes. At the end, the attendant, stands you and guides your towards what looks like a wooden coffin. You are so oily, they are afraid you will fall if you try to walk unattended. He opens the coffin and the bottom is a wooden lattice work that you lie upon. The top of the coffin is then closed, and only your head extrudes. A towel is draped over your neck sealing the hole through which your neck comes out. The temperature is increased and steam envelopes your body. You get a facial treatment while you are steaming away. At the end, just as you are becoming, sous vide, they open the casket and guiding your slippery sweaty body to a shower. Both of us loved the experience.

This brings up another interesting topic. Arabs and their unruly children. I don’t want to generalize, but there is a definite feeling, when talking to the merchants and trades people that Arabs (not Muslims) are very rude and insensitive to other cultures. The Sri Lankan’s were very consistent in this view. At the massage center, the Arabs were very loud and their children were basically running wild. Afterwards I mentioned how disruptive this was to the peaceful environment they were creating, and the massage studio owner agreed.

After the massage we went to a large gem / museum / Jewelry Store. We didn’t buy anything, but it was fascinating to learn about gem mining. We realized that we prefer older pieces from India, to newer jewelry pieces. Proving that one shouldn’t generalize, there was a European couple with two loud blond, screaming, wild children children. The parents were completely oblivious or non-caring about the noise and distraction these two screaming monsters were creating. I finally went up to the mother and told her, she should control her children in public. The father took charge and quieted them down.

We returned to our hotel, drank some wine and prepared for dinner. All day long I had been thinking about the Chicken Tikka I had at the previous night at the Hotel’s dinning room. I ordered it again. I was practically drooling, the dish had been so well prepared. Needless to say, this time the dish was horrible. The chicken was dried out and nothing like the same dish I had the previous night. The young inexperienced hostess, realized something was wrong, and I told her this was not the same dish I ordered last night and it was differently prepared. She argued with me. I decided to stand my ground and continued to insist the dish wasn’t correct, and I wouldn’t accept it. The restaurant manager and finally the chef came out to hear my refusal to eat the dish. It turns out this was a different chef from the previous night, and he cooks Chicken Tikka in a different fashion. Finally the chef relented. Eventually a new serving of Chicken Tikka was sent out and it was exactly as I remembered. The chef came out again to see if I was happy, and explained this is Chicken Tikka in The Northern Indian Style. This time it paid to be persistent – and I felt I won the Great Chicken Tikka Standoff.

Tomorrow we leave Kandy, visit an elephant orphanage and fly to Bombay. It has been a wonderful experience here in Sri Lanka. Why do I think they are going to try and get us to adopt an elephant?

The Fellini Hotel

Natural  Viagra Click the Arrow Below to Play

Just Like Ed Sullivan Show

The 8th Best Hotel in Kandy

The Buddha's Tooth is Inside that Gold Casket

A Most Effective Sales Technique

This has been without a doubt the most bizarre day of our trip to Sri Lanka. We checked out of our hotel in Dambulla and headed out to drive to the second biggest city in Sri Lanka: Kandy.

Our driver, Michael, said we were going to stop at a spice station where they grow and sell spices. We have been to spice stations before, and knew what to expect (we thought). It turns out this is a spice station that sells herbal remedies for what ails you. We were met by a smooth talking guy, who claimed to be in the 6^th year of a 7 year program. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded like a pitchman on any New York City street corner.

He led us to a bench where he spoke some more about the benefits of these products. He then said he wanted to demonstrate some of them on us. Two other young men came in and applied some ointments to our faces and scalps. They then lifted up the back of shirts and started massaging and oiling our backs. They then asked me to take off my shirt and had Cathy take off her top. More massaging more oil. They then removed my Rolex and put it down. They were massaging us and our eyes are closed and I had visions of them switching watches or stealing our purses. I looked over at Cathy and her bra was unhooked. Wow this was getting strange. I thought, No, these are good Buddhist, we just need to go with the flow. The massage continued for almost an hour. I thought I should get a few pictures of this, and handed them my camera and they took a couple. Eventually they finished and we got re-dressed.

The whole time we were in basically a public space. It was weird!

Eventually the doctor came in, and asked us generally about our health. He prescribed all kinds of herbal medicines. We bought some, and we will see if any of them work. It was the strangest sales technique I have ever experienced, but a massage will get you far with us. As we were leaving, after spending quite a bit on herbal medicine, the young salesman said we could tip him. I did, and as we got back in our car, I said to Cathy, what the hell am I doing tipping a salesman, I just bought his products, he should be giving me a gift. To make matters worse, I was so relaxed from the massage, I forgot to ask for a discount. My bargaining skills weren't put to use. Ah the Buddha works in strange ways.

We then continued our drive to Kandy. Kandy is most famous above all for a having a relic: Buddha’s Tooth. This is a major destination for Buddhist. I thought it ironic that a tooth wound up in a city called Kandy, but that is just me.

We drove up a giant mountain side, on a narrow one lane street, that was constant switch backs. When another vehicle approached I was constantly worried one of us was going to meet Buddha, sooner than expected. Eventually we climbed to the top and arrived at our Hotel: The Amaya Hills Resort. I had looked it up in TripAdvisor. We were staying at the 8^th best hotel in Kandy. I couldn’t reconcile with my non-Buddhist side of me, why there were 7 better hotels and we weren’t at one of them. Eight is pretty far down the list. It barely makes the top 10.

We quickly established reasons why it is number 8. We are staying on the 3^rd floor. There is no elevator, that is good for keeping the hotel out of the top 5. Everything about this hotel shouts out: “I will never be in the top 7”. We decided to not fight it, not move to a better hotel and just be accepting (A key Buddhist philosophy).

Our driver then retraced his steps down the mountain where we went to long promised cultural event. There was an old Red Cross Hall hall. We were led to reserved front row seats, next to an elderly couple.  How and why we deserved to have front row seats, I don’t understand, but maybe it has something to do with Buddhist Karma and tipping the herbal remedy salesman.

The show consisted of young energetic dancers in native costumes doing authentic dances. My favorite was twirling plates and balancing them on a stick. I felt I was watching a re-run of an Ed Sullivan Show. This couldn’t possibly be original with Sri Lanka. There were drummers and a flute player who looked like he would rather be doing anything but be dressed up in a costume and entertaining people. There was a woman (I think) who was supposed to be doing a native dance but to me it looked like a bump and grind routine. The Buddha wouldn’t be happy. The male dancers were also gymnasts who back flipped their way across the stage, while dressed in very weird outfits that were better suited for women. The highlight was fire-walking. We were in the front row, and when they ignited the fuel all of a sudden it got very hot. I started to remember stories of fires in theaters and panic stricken people heading for the exits. There were no exits here, only the doors we walked in thru that were in the back of the theater. We were in the front row. I realized the Buddha had sense of humor about choice seats and quick exits.

We then went to see the Buddha’s tooth. The Temple of the Tooth was a short walk from the cultural show. Throngs of westerners and pilgrims who were dressed in white surged toward the temple. We were met by a Buddhist Guide, who directed us to where we could check our shoes (no shoes allowed in a temple) and rushed us in. The temple is very large, very crowded and very hot. There is a cacophony of sound as drummers are drumming and horns are blaring. As our guide took us from room to room he explained very briefly what we were seeing. His accent was thick, and we understood nothing he said. We eventually got to the hall where you could look in and see the golden chamber that contained the tooth (of course if they had used a gold filling to fix the tooth, the Buddha might never have lost it – but history didn’t work that way). So this tooth that is over 2300 years old is supposedly here contained within its golden casket. Hoards of people are literally trampling over each other to get not a view, not a spiritual moment, but a digital picture to post on Facebook, that they were there. I don’t know what the pilgrims, all dressed in white thought, but we thought this is madness. At the end our Buddhist guide asked for money, I gave him a Dollar (which I thought was what he asked for), he said no he wouldn't accept a Dollar, he wanted $10.00. I didn't have a $10 dollar bill, I only had some $1's & $ 100's and the rest was in Sri Lanken Rupees. I gave him 1000 Rupees. He said no, he wanted 1500 Rupees. It is tough negotiating with a representative of the Lord Buddha. I didn't have a 500 Rupee Note, so I gave him 2 - 1000 Rupee Notes. Later Cathy told me our driver had said don't pay him more than 500 Rupees. Somehow the message didn't get to me. Buddhist 1, Jews 0.

We returned to the 8^th best hotel in Kandy. The lobby was filled with Saudi men trailed by 1, 2, or 3 wives, all dressed from top to bottom in black, with only their eyes showing. We ordered wine. In came the 18 Israeli women we saw last night, singing Hebrew songs. I felt like I was sitting on the border between the East Bank and the West Bank. All of sudden, in come 25 Buddhist Pilgrims all dressed in their finest white, in comparison with the Saudi women in their finest black, I guess Buddhist Pilgrims merit staying at the 8^th best hotel in Kandy.

Soon a rowdy bunch of young Australian guys come in. They are playing a cricket match in Kandy tomorrow. Beers for the Aussies!

The same elderly couple who were at the show sitting next to us, came over to us and asked if they can join us for drinks. Turns out the Saudi’s are sitting at the table they have been promised and they are going to get their table no matter what! They were from Liverpool, she was snob, he was ok. They liked the 8^th best hotel in Kandy.

I asked Cathy, how do the Saudi women eat, if only there eyes are exposed. I decided they can never eat in public. We went into the exclusive dinning room for dinner (as opposed to the buffet where everyone else was eating), and who do we run into but the Saudi with his 3 wives. They were the only ones in the room when we entered, and the women all had the material that covered their faces lifted over their head so they can eat. They saw us, and immediately replaced their coverings, got up and left the restaurant. We felt bad, as we realized what was happening. I thought of asking the men, if we should leave so they could continue eating, but decided, what ever I said would get lost in translation. I also felt that if he could afford three wives he could afford room service at the 8^th best hotel in Kandy. We did ask the waiter if we had driven them out, and said no, there were done with dinner anyway. For a young kid, the waiter was suave and got an extra large tip for putting us at ease.

Between the Saudi’s in Black, the Israeli women singing in Hebrew, the Buddhist Pilgrims in White, the beer drinking Australian cricket team, and our Liverpool couple, this is the strangest amalgamation of people I have ever been with. I then knew why our hotel was rated the 8^th best hotel in Kandy.